Brandon Binkley

Jan 6, 2026

Arthur P. Thistlewaite, professional raconteur, self-proclaimed inventor of the "nap," and the only man to ever be banned from the San Diego Zoo for trying to teach a penguin how to tap dance, has finally surrendered his earthly vessel at the age of 94.

Artie passed away peacefully on Tuesday morning, reportedly after losing a high-stakes staring contest with a particularly...